We had an interesting visit last night to a local Alzheimer's center. Marley was squeaky clean and dressed in her therapy dog garb. She was excited to go. She was a little stand offish with some of the patients but it was her first visit in a while. Hopefully within a few visits she will get back to feeling comfortable enough to snuggle up with the people who are very different than those she interacts with daily.
Last night Marley showed some stress signals with the woman who was reaching out to her and mumbling very loudly. Three months ago Marley would have been snuggled up with her. The woman seemed ecstatic about the presence of an animal. I couldn't understand her but I understood that she was excited about having a dog nearby. She got louder and louder and her excitement level rose. Unfortunately this made Miss Marley nervous and she could only tolerate this for a few minutes and we had to move on. Luckily, I was armed with treats and rewarded her for being calm in the presence of someone that made her a bit nervous.
I had a very interesting conversation with a woman who seemed so lost. She tried to hook me up with her son that lived in North Carolina. He's single and handsome and young and I am guessing 20 years older than me. LOL. She gave me his full name and then spelled it (she did this with her own name too) and then asked me if I knew him? Logic would tell a person that some random stranger would not know her son that lived all the way across the country. Often times, it seems logic never comes into play for the Alzheimer's patients. It makes my heart ache when I think about these people were once functional members of society like myself. This woman was so lost that she said she was in North Carolina and can she stay here because she doesn't want to burden her son any longer. I told her yes that she was welcome to stay and she asked me to bring her some canned food so that she would have something to eat while she stayed here. I advised her that they would deliver her meals to her and that she had a roommate who we had just met in the hall. The woman seemed to have no recollection of having been there before or of the roommate that she had been living with for sometime.
I felt bad leaving her but Marley was ready to move on. She wanted to give me some phone numbers for her son and his address in North Carolina so I could stop by to visit him. It made me wonder if she ever had visitors from her family and I really hope they are not all the way across the country?
Visiting with Marley has put a lot of things in perspective for me. I feel guilt for not visiting my Grandma more often when she was old and unable to care for herself. She lived for years in and out of facilities much like the one we visit. She had multiple strokes and to my young and irresponsible self; visiting felt like a chore. She was old and grumpy and I can't help now but feel saddened that she didn't have enough family around her to keep her company. My mother was a saint and was there nearly every day. I never understood how she could give up so much time and energy for her mother who was always boring and grumpy. It felt impossibly selfless. I was in my early twenties and was self centered and focused on partying and having fun. Family wasn't a focus for me at that point in my life.
I'm glad to have these experiences at this point in my life. It puts things in better perspective. I've already grown much closer to my family in the past few years but it reminds me of the importance our family members play. I know now that I want to play the role that my mother played. I want to do everything I can when the time comes that my parents can no longer care for themselves. It no longer seems impossibly selfless. My parents gave up so much for me when I was young. There's no reason why I shouldn't do the same.
I really hope that the Alzheimer's patients we visit have children and family there sometimes to visit. We often run into family who love to play with my princess Marley. I hope the others get some visits too. If not, at least they get to occasionally love my little girl. Hopefully she will want to love them back too.
Last night Marley showed some stress signals with the woman who was reaching out to her and mumbling very loudly. Three months ago Marley would have been snuggled up with her. The woman seemed ecstatic about the presence of an animal. I couldn't understand her but I understood that she was excited about having a dog nearby. She got louder and louder and her excitement level rose. Unfortunately this made Miss Marley nervous and she could only tolerate this for a few minutes and we had to move on. Luckily, I was armed with treats and rewarded her for being calm in the presence of someone that made her a bit nervous.
I had a very interesting conversation with a woman who seemed so lost. She tried to hook me up with her son that lived in North Carolina. He's single and handsome and young and I am guessing 20 years older than me. LOL. She gave me his full name and then spelled it (she did this with her own name too) and then asked me if I knew him? Logic would tell a person that some random stranger would not know her son that lived all the way across the country. Often times, it seems logic never comes into play for the Alzheimer's patients. It makes my heart ache when I think about these people were once functional members of society like myself. This woman was so lost that she said she was in North Carolina and can she stay here because she doesn't want to burden her son any longer. I told her yes that she was welcome to stay and she asked me to bring her some canned food so that she would have something to eat while she stayed here. I advised her that they would deliver her meals to her and that she had a roommate who we had just met in the hall. The woman seemed to have no recollection of having been there before or of the roommate that she had been living with for sometime.
I felt bad leaving her but Marley was ready to move on. She wanted to give me some phone numbers for her son and his address in North Carolina so I could stop by to visit him. It made me wonder if she ever had visitors from her family and I really hope they are not all the way across the country?
Visiting with Marley has put a lot of things in perspective for me. I feel guilt for not visiting my Grandma more often when she was old and unable to care for herself. She lived for years in and out of facilities much like the one we visit. She had multiple strokes and to my young and irresponsible self; visiting felt like a chore. She was old and grumpy and I can't help now but feel saddened that she didn't have enough family around her to keep her company. My mother was a saint and was there nearly every day. I never understood how she could give up so much time and energy for her mother who was always boring and grumpy. It felt impossibly selfless. I was in my early twenties and was self centered and focused on partying and having fun. Family wasn't a focus for me at that point in my life.
I'm glad to have these experiences at this point in my life. It puts things in better perspective. I've already grown much closer to my family in the past few years but it reminds me of the importance our family members play. I know now that I want to play the role that my mother played. I want to do everything I can when the time comes that my parents can no longer care for themselves. It no longer seems impossibly selfless. My parents gave up so much for me when I was young. There's no reason why I shouldn't do the same.
I really hope that the Alzheimer's patients we visit have children and family there sometimes to visit. We often run into family who love to play with my princess Marley. I hope the others get some visits too. If not, at least they get to occasionally love my little girl. Hopefully she will want to love them back too.
4 comments:
You post made me cry.
Thoughts and prayers for that lady...
What you and Marley, and other therapy dogs do, is such a wonderful beautiful service.
I just hope that when I am older people like you and other therapy dogs come to visit me.
Hugs to you and Miss Marley...
What good experiences you are having! Wow ... that's just so amazing of you to do that for these people. I am sure some of them don't have frequent visitors & I am sure they love to see you & Marley. & you sound like you've come a long way since your partying days :) ... amazing how much we've matured isn't it?
Its very difficult for us to visit the Alzheimer wing at the nursing home we would go to before we moved. I don't want to end up like that some day. In a home, having to give up my animals, freedom and life.
The patients love having the visits. I just hope that one day, my good Karma will come back around and someone will bring their dog in for me to visit.
I am sure Marley will get back on the saddle and the residents like that lady won't disturb her.
That is so great that you get to go do pet therapy. The dog I got last spring I was going to train to do that as well since I have always wanted to pursue that. I hope someday I can find another little dog to do it with me. It touches so many people.
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